guess this day will come sooner or later but the thought of it just came past my mind today...
from what i see all my brothers and sisters they are doing what they want to do, pursuing their dreams and goals, holding onto roles of higher commitment to inspire,touch and encourage others and of course be with their better half. Basically living their part of lives, all of which stated I'm very proud and happy for them honestly. in due course there will definitely be a decrease of contact with all of them, not seeing each other as often and talking like how we are right now due to the commitments and responsibilities. which brings me back to the thought. the thought of losing each and everyone of them. there will definitely be those who say "no la we still will keep in contact" or some where along that line which of course i don't doubt their words but still there is a decrease in contact. now I'm being honest with my feeling and myself, i do not want my brothers and sisters to leave me. it really saddens me a lot and its affecting me a lot all these while with the thought of being all alone just that i don't voice it out because well i do not want to trouble them all. come to think about it they are all i have. but still i will say that I'm still very happy for them to be moving on with their lives,seeing them grow into better individuals, being happy and also helping others. guess all along i've been feeling down is due to this main reason of losing everyone and everything. come to think of it all of them have their own things that they excel in such as in work, in being truly responsible individuals or just being unique in their own way in terms of their life goals which really make me look up to each and everyone of them :) but whenever i look at myself i realised that i got nothing that im good at. ok maybe like what some of them say....im only good at nagging or making a fool out of myself hahahaha... well guess today really made me realised that I'm the type of person that is very "sticky" to those around me when i always say that i can't stand it when people are so "sticky". shall stop my ranting here and see how things goes...
