why

why must it always b me to give in to everything?
why is that that only my flaws are seen even when im trying my best to meet up to expectations?
it hurts to see that im not doing my family proud and that its coming from them personally...
why is it that im only allowed to swallow all my unhappiness and not express it out?
even if i do, im still in the wrong for saying it out...
just because im studying nursing doesnt mean that i have to change who i am right?
as the years pass im being treated more and more like a tool
feel that the only thing im given is money and everything else i got to depand on my own...
if that is the case i rather not be given any money at all in exchange for what im losing right now...
i am not asking for much...i am just asking to be treated as a son, a close friend which i know i will never be anymore, someone that can be depanded on, someone to be proud of...
but most of all i just want to be treated as a human being again if possible...